1
your room looks asleep
barely lit by the dying sun
i've never seen it like this before
so i stand there and watch
the last rays are running for shelter
the way you would if you
woke up naked one day
in the middle of a curious crowd
minutes go by and
i realise im smiling before
your wandering eyes find me
and invite me in
i enter and draw the curtains
desperate to give darkness the key
but you are sorry it ended this way
dusks reluctant romance with your room
i pour my tired body onto the bed
my troubled thoughts into oblivion
before i do something i have never done
lie
20 Comments:
If I remember correctly, yesterday this had ended differently. Why the change? :)
No rhyme but Rhythm is there for sure. Lovely piece of writing!
lovely:)
'desperate to give darkness the key' - soaking in lovely-ness.
Waitaminute. It's changed... From 'sleep' to 'lie'? It's delightful either way. But...why?
what i want to know is why the photo has changed from the various avtaars of TS to some random white lady a cycle. why mins?
That seems to be a different you Tanmay...nice...
@Everyone: This is an attempt which has taken a few days, and changes to become what it is. Apologise for the posting mishap. This is the way it is supposed to be.
@Pri: My brother took this photo in Goa. If you see the detailed version, it is symbollic of everything I aspire to be. The general is in the particular, and the particular lies in the general. Its static yet moving, both literally and metaphorically.
beautiful.
Very nice my friend. Do you really know what it feels like to wake up naked to a curious crowd? Cool!
evokes a great picture of dusk ... and the exhaustion that comes at the end of the day when there is nothing left to do but trust in inertia
well written.
was the 'lie' intentional? you know it being a homonym and all :)
Lovely! loved the oun in the last line.Also liked the second stanza.
Very clever.
I mean pun in the last line. :)
Ooooh.... hottie! :)
After a second read...Why is this titled "1"? is this a series?
ooh your demplade is looking good. very classy.
I am guessing this has a sequel? If not, I implore you to write one.
It seems interesting!
@Dan: I do. Lets NOT go into the details of that one ok? Ok.
@Andrea/Ps: Thanks.
@MISSquoted**: I can't say. Does the entire piece seem intentional?
@P: Hmmm, N and I were having dinner today and she told me that you asked her to say exactly that!
@Anand: It doesn't have a title so I figured I'd mention my IQ... :)
@Comeletshavefun: I will 'explore' the possibility. Thanks.
errrr... ummmm.
@J': Not feeling coherent?
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