Thursday, December 28, 2006

In the Last 5 Days I've Learned...

-that road trips with the girlfriend's family can be fun, even if it's at the expense of a trip to the hills where you would've done nothing except smoke hashish, eat and pass out.

-that it is possible for five adults, one new-born and a mannerless dog to fit into one SUV.

-that NH-1 is also the famous GT Road.

-that I can no longer do poo poo in public loos because I'm just too snooty.

-that the Aloo Parathas at Zhil Mil Dhaba in Karnal are to die for.

-that P's elder sister is a compulsive shopper and desperately needs therapy.

-that I'm a compulsive shopper, and I don't need therapy because...

-that Nabha has not changed much since I was last here in October of 2000 for a basketball tournament.

-that even though my girlfriend's father is not in the armed forces, he lives in a housing complex where there are 30 security personnel stationed to protect 9 families.

-that my girlfriend's family has, in its own special half-Tamilian-half-Malayalee way, come to terms with my half-Bihari-half-Punjabi presence in her life.

-that P and I are not likely to have convincing answers when our children ask us about their ancestry (Tam-Mal-Punj-Bih?).

-that even if you're not South Indian, appam & chicken stew makes for a great snack.

-that a weighing machine in Nabha claims I am 103 Kgs.

-that cuddling up in one quilt watching movies all day is a perfect way of spending quality time with people you don't know too well.

-that you can actually not feel like smoking for 5 days at a stretch.

-that banana chips make me vomit.

-that if I don't get my glass of coke first thing in the morning, I'm capable of being quite cranky.

-that my girlfriend is better at badminton than I ever was/will be.

-that my girlfriend may be better at Badminton, but I can beat the living daylights out of her in Pool and Table Tennis (P, right back at ya).

-that it's not a wise idea to go to Amritsar on a rainy day.

-that Jallianwallah Bagh and Golden Temple are within 50 metres of each other.

-that no one will believe you when you tell them that the Golden Temple is actually made of gilded copper and not gold.

-that Amritsari Kulcha isn't as great as its made out to be.

-that you will smile when you see a board which says Lovely Proffesional University, but not as widely as you will when you see Balle Balle Farms.

-that stoned or not, a visit to the Dollar Store is an expensive proposition.

-that it's also possible to fit six adults, the new-born, the mannerless dog and five days of shopping into the same SUV.

-that if I waste more than an hour at the factory outlets and dollar store at Ambala, I will get very late and miss my 7:30 pm dental appointment.

-that whenever I'm going to be late, I will end up telling my mother it's because of the traffic.

-that even when you're 23, your mother can get very angry with your silly excuses.

-that even after five years with P, watching her sleep makes me fall in love with her all over again.

-that if you take a 3 weeks of leave at the end of the year, you can come back to town after a week and not have to go to work the next day.

-that its a good thing my cellphone wasn't working.

-that the moment you enter Delhi, everyone will lose all road sense, including your driver.

-that when I reach home, my mother will act all angry and upset because she knows I lied to her about the traffic.

-that my dog loves me dearly, despite the delay and the the lies.

-that the moment I take that giant bar of Toblerone out of my luggage and wave it in front of Mom, she will wrap her arms around me and give me the warmest hug ever, making me believe that I've just returned from the battlefront.

-that your dog doesn't really give a fuck about you once you've handed over the Toblerone to your mother.

-that no matter how good a trip is, it's great to be back.


maya said...

a) Zhil Mil Dhaba and Balle Balle Farms? *grins*. Please tell me your driver's name wasn't Lakhvindar, aka Lucky!
b) Yay about the smoking (I'm trying to get as many people as possible on my side - do you think you could stretch those five days to, like, forever?), and ditto for banana chips.
c) Oh come on - Amritsari Kulchas are awesome!
d) Tam Punj Bihari Mal? No, that sounds like a jeweller's shop.
e) Awwwwww... (I do have one question, though. Is P really happy with that fake name?)

Ujjwal said...


testing out new waters with a new style of putting things together...nice!!

glad that u relaxed and are trying to quit smoking...

see you this weekend..and weight loss karo thora :)

TS said...

a) His name was Harpreet, aka Harry!
b) I'm NOT quitting. Just de-toxing from time to time.
c) No they are not! Not at 'Brother's Dhaba at least!
d) I'm clueless yaa, whatever will I tell them curious 'mini me(s)!'
e) To be very honest, I haven't asked her and she hasn't expressed anything yet.

@UJ: The weighing machine was way out of line man, I'm like 90 kilos. And being 6 feet 2, I'm guessing that's passable. And yeah, see you!

Anonymous said...

Hey Tanmay,

Lavish praise for someone's work doesn't come naturally to me...But having read ur post, I couldn't resist reacting... U've a great sense of writing scripts... Looking forward to more good posts...


faceless said...

Even the most cosmopolitan of us needs a home to come back to! and kudos to the new style!

rajeshbysani said...

oi balle balle!
very good post...
and no matter how many years you are with a girl.. watching her sleep would make you fall in love all over again..

Viren said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... couldn't think of anything else

Nandz said...

I've read two of your posts now and you write really well!

iz said...

From the future mother of Hindu-Muslim-Catholic children, I celebrate your future brats.

iksha said...

"that if you take a 3 weeks of leave at the end of the year, you can come back to town after a week and not have to go to work the next day."
End of the year leaves rock! Oh how I dread Jan 2nd! :(

n u can tell your kids that their ancestry is a recipe of the best of all worlds! ;)

Happy New Years!

Jane Doe said...

-I love bullet points! I love them! I love lists!

-SUVs are a conspiracy. To make people shop. I love SUVs.

-Banana chips suck! That's one thing punju's cannot like!

-I am cranky if I don't get chai. Hehe! oh no. I am cranky no matter what. Hate Mornings.

-Your kids will be gorgeous (my niece (yes MY niece) is a product of south India meets north India and she is sooooo pretty!)

-Rajai is the best thing ever invented, and movies... lets not get into how perfect that setting is.

-Toblerone can make anyone give a gigantic hug and forget all that you did wrong!

-P sounds lovely... oops Balle Balle to you!

Nikhil said...

what do you say? the blog keeps getting better.
Happy New Year

t said...

fantastic! extremely sensitive...

Surly Girl In The Corner said...

Yes yes I know all those kids. I went to school with Ruchir and Pallavi's going out with Pranay, who I've also known for ages from school, and Vaibhav I have met a few times but don't know so well. I spent New Year's Eve with them at Pallavi and Pranay's friend Aman's place in IGNOU. They were talking about you and I exclaimed, "OH! I know him! As in, I don't KNOW him, but I read his blog!". They thought it was very amusing.

That Armchair Philosopher said...

Hullo! Just stopped by - great post here. So I find out that you're from MSBK, and I'm like - hmm, *really*?

Then I find that you, through Surly know all the above? Gosh. Small world. And then some :)

Happy New Year!

Mannat said...

You're right i don't believe that fact about the golden temple.. will come around to it.
And you ended up at the dollar store again??!! definite compulsive shopper (what the hell so am i)
And your description of your relationship with P might be the only reason i contemplate of getting into one again (will get over this too!)
Also, didn't you come across the 'brother's dhaba' in Punjabis to come up with atrocious names... its a talent!

TS said...

Anonymous, Nikhil, Rajesh, Nandz, T, and Faceless: Thank you.

Viren: I feel I've graduated to *another* level if the post made you laugh. Ha!

Iz: Thank you much. I need them wishes. Good luck to you too!

Iksha: Happy New Year. And I think I'll take your advice on the recipe idea.

Jane Doe:P is lovely no doubt, though she could do with getting a little less irritated with me (P! Are you listening?)

Surly Girl: Why did they think it was amusing? And pleasant surprise running into you at TC the other day. The world is shrinking as we speak.

That Armchair Philosopher: Happy New Year. I read your blog quite often but I'm ignorant so don't really have much of an opinion and hence don't comment. Oh, and I love *good* parties too, and I can totally picture the expression on your face when you wrote that.

-Wiki the Golden Temple facts, or visit ''
-Yes, I ended up at the Dollar Store, AGAIN. Can we not discuss that because after Jaipur, I really shouldn't have!
-Please find yourself a nice boy who looks less bamboo and more human (Get the drift?)
-That's where we ate, BROTHER'S DHABA! Ha! But nothing beats Balle Balle Farms, its on the Jalandhar bypass.

supriya said...

..and i have realised that you love smokes, your mother, P, your dog and coke in no particular order.
ahh the simple life :P

Anonymous said...

i came, i saw, i laughed myself silly...
and amen to the aapam and chicken stew... :)


The Mad Momma said...

ummm... beat this... my son is part hindu, part christian... and has tamil, bengali, pahadi and konkani blood... with a dash of chinese...

Mridul Trehan said...

Before I write anything about your wonderful, humorous and easy to relate with (Need I write more? Guess I do!) piece of work, I have a confession to make. I copied the g/f assessment test and asked my g/f to evaluate me on same points (It is not copyright protected, is it?). I scored a pathetic 24. And now that I am writing about it, I have realized:
· Only way to score good in such assessments is to write you own questionnaire.
· Even if u have to copy, never copy an ex V&A trainers questionnaire as it could be very embarrassing/humiliating (which ever is worse, how do I know? I was never a V& A Trainer.)
· Even if I score a Zero, SHE would still love me.
· You have also outscored me in Tickle IQ test (My score: 131, gave test in 2003).
· If you smiled at Balle Balle farm, you have not heard about Digital Singh (even spell checker could not find anything wrong with this name).
· You are suffering from a medical ailment called ‘hypogeusia’. Amritsari Paranthas are only next to makki di roti te sarson ka saag.

I just love your blog, don’t visit very often because writer bug inside me start kicking. And you know my first attempt was a disaster. Should have spent more time in V&A training (as if 2 stratifications were not enough!). And yes! I don’t know Y no body mentioned, you are also excellent behind the lens! So keep clicking and keep writing!

Mridul Trehan

TS said...

@Neha/Mridul: Many thanks.

@Mad Momma: Wow, you win.

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