Chapter Three: The Implications of What If

"Love me for who I am, and I will show you who I can be."

Janit Gambhir, Aspiring Film-Maker and Modernite (Batch of 1999)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anandana.

If you wrote her biography, you would have more than enough material to keep you busy in your study, editing meticulously so as to not leave out a single detail that made her everything that she was.

DPS RK Puram, IIT Delhi, and finally IIM Bangalore.

At the age of 20, she had a book published, which she had co-authored with a fellow student at IIT called Hacked to Death, which chronicled the life of a small town computer genius turned hacker turned God of cyber crime, who is finally apprehended by the cyberpol at Times Square, where he is shot dead while makeing a last ditch attempt to escape. This book sold over 10,000 copies in Europe and North America.

Add to that her love for squash, which she played at the national level for five years, and the many music competitions where she won the award for best singer. In her days at IIT, she was also involved with a rock band who called themselves Vikram Betaal. A name they came up with because Vikram was the guy who started the band, and the fact that they didn't have a drummer initially; and were hence reduced to participating only in acapella competitions for the first six months of their existence!

In 2002, after graduating from IIM, Anandana came back to Delhi and began, what was to be a short, but hugely successful career at Ernst and Young as a Group Manager. She loved her work, and didn't mind the crazy hours, the frantic late night calls from sub-ordinates and of course, the absence of love that came with such a lifestyle.

Having said that, every now and then, in the last few moments of consciousness, before she passed out in her bed out of exhaustion, she would think about computer programs and Vikram Betaal. And each time these memories came back to her, asking questions she knew she didn't have answers to, she would try and convince herself that the next weekend she would do something about it. Many such weekends came and went.

One year passed, and by now she had resigned to her corporate lifestyle. Twenty odd cups of coffee in a day, sandwiches for meals and buckets of alcohol on Fridays, when she went out with a couple of friends from work to Cafe Sound of Music.

Her petite frame had now begun to show early signs of obesity. She, however, continued to live in denial telling herself they were just love handles. Whenever she chatted with her childhood friend Ekta, she would joke about how her hymen had grown back.

It was around this time when she met Jayant. He was a great looking, articulate guy and the chemistry had been almost instantaneous. She really didn't care that he was much younger than her. He was that endless glass of cold water for the desert traveller that she had begun to imagine herself as.

Infact, he's the one who encouraged her to get involved with music again. He even forced her to record a couple of songs at the studio for him. On most days, they would spend most of their time making love and conversation, both very random.

She realised he was more than just a passing phase only when he moved in with her one fine day, uninvited.

However, like most good things in Anandana's life, this too came to an end. Two years and a whirlwind romance later, she was forced to dump him because of the drug habit he had developed. She had warned him again and again, but he had persisted.

Now she remembered him as the guy who taught her how to sing again, nothing more and nothing less.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One year had gone by since she had last seen Jayant. She thought about him briefly on the 18th of April, their two year anniversary when everything had come to an abrupt, screeching halt.

Anandana had moved on.

Today she was 27, married, and assisting her husband in his garment export business.

The marriage had happened all of a sudden. It was the result of another whirlwind romance Anandana had gotten herself into. Only this time, the prospective groom was a millionaire, a tea totaller and someone who's parents would get very upset if he moved in with his girlfriend. And so, they got married, and in the process got bound by law to live with each other!

A few months into marriage, life was lucid, rhythms well set, and expectations well defined.

Then on one such day, when her life was following a set pattern she was almost addicted to, out of the blue, she received a call from Jayant. It was the 21st of April. He sounded desparate and insisted on meeting her. She was a little reluctant because she hadn't spoken to him in over a year, but she went to meet him anyway. She knew well from past experience that she didn't have to worry from a safety point of view.

But while driving to Ruby Tuesday at the DT Mall, she tried to fathom why he had suddenly called on her.

Jayant was in a very bad shape when she met him, pitiful to be precise. He told her about how much he loved her, how much he had missed her this last one year, about the drugs, about some rehab in the UK and about his desire to move back in with her. He pleaded in front of her and begged her to give him a chance.

To all his questions she had only one answer, "I'm married Jayant, infact I'm expecting my first child."

She was trembling when she said that, not knowing how he would respond.

He didn't say anything for almost a minute.

She felt the need to explain herself and so she began to narrate the events of the year gone by.

At first he sat there, staring at her in disbelief. But his surprise soon melted into a smile, much to her surprise. He was taking it well, or so she thought. He asked her a lot of questions about her life, her new job, but he was clearly most interested in Sameer. He wanted to know every single detail about him.

Three hours went by, and for a while Jayant immersed himself in Sameer's life.

Anandana's phone rang. Jayant knew it was Sameer because she said," If you had called me anytime in the last three hours I would've told you that you have a long life Sam!"

Sam, Jayant thought to himself. SAM, he said again in his mind.

Once she cut the phone, she looked at Jayant and told him she needed to leave immediately. He didn't object and dropped her to her car, which was parked in the basement of the mall. She thanked him and said,"It was 'refreshing' to meet you after so long. Something I didn't think possible. Thanks for understanding."

After she had driven off, Jayant wandered around in the parking lot for while, aimlessly. When the security guard asked him why he was just lounging around, he apologised and left. That night he went to his parents' house for the first time in almost two years.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 10th, 2006:

An electronic music album debuts at No.9 on Top of the Pops. One week later it debuts at No. 23 on the Billboard Charts.

Much hype has been created around the release of this CD because Sony-BMG, the record label that has released the album insists that part of the contract with the artist renders it unlawful for them to disclose any details about him, whatsoever. The only thing they are willing to disclose is that the artist is a male in his twenties, and that he's currently working on his second album.

A gentlemen named Clarke Goodwin has claimed that the title track is based on a melody which he created sometime earlier this year. No one is taking him seriously because he is currently undergoing rehabilitation at the Rhoserchan Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Centre in Mid-Wales.

Every electronic music aficionado lives on in desperate hope that someday this artist will make a public appearance.

For now they have conditioned themselves to be content with his pseudonym, Sam.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------